The tree is down and most of the other stuff is put away. Dusting and vacuuming and sweeping and mopping need to occur. Desperately! Presents for my 'rents need to be wrapped. Run to the store needs to be made. Kids need lunch. But Nachos need to be eaten before I have the energy for all that. Ahhh Salty Chip, Salty Chip!!!

Back in Colo

We returned home about 11 last night. Nice to be home...no Great to be home. Spent most of today unpacking and doing laundry...and then Ava said her throat hurt. I looked in her throat and it looked like she had blisters on her tonsils. Justin took her to Urgent Care so I could continue to unpack and do laundry here at home and although her strep test came back negative the dr. gave her amoxicillin since Mallory had it almost 2 weeks ago.

We plan on celebrating Cmas with my parents on New Year's Eve, but if Ava is still illin' we will bump it to Friday.

Mo has been parked in my lap -- every time I sit down she is right there.

Ava and Mallory had their dance recital last night. We videotaped it and will bring it up there for Christmas so whomever wants to can watch it. My dad took some videos on his camera which I have posted here...




Ok, I can't seem to post any more...but will try in the morning.

So I took my last antibiotic last night and after the girls' bath Mallory felt warm and was shivering. 102 fever all day...took her to the doctor and it's strep. Poor kid...although she doesn't seem as miserable as I was.

The girls are writing their holiday cards to their teachers. I bought seasonal foam stickers they are decorating them with as well. I've got our pictures already, so need to start our cards this weekend.

I am definitely making Chex Mix again this year... Nichole- you better eat it with me when we are there (if you are reading!), but I still need to figure out what else to make- sweet-wise. I only want to make a couple...3 at the most...different kinds. Don't want to go OVERboard. Oh I know one of them has to be chocolate and sprinkle dipped pretzel rods. Ok, that leaves me with 2 more...ideas?

Tomorrow is Justin's work's party for kids... Hopefully they are both ok to go by then. ***crossing fingers***

Happy Day After Thanksgiving

Sorry it's been so long since I've written. After being sick for so long with the cough virus in September and October, it has taken me awhile to play catch up around here and THEN this Monday I got Strep Throat...so far I am the only one to have gotten it. Justin had to come home from work early Monday because I was dizzy and nauseous and oh yah, I felt like I was swallowing sandpaper. Tuesday he stayed home as well (got to be the girls' chauffer for a couple days...) I went to the dr and started antibiotics. I STILL have one spot on the right side of my throat that is painful. We did have Thanksgiving yesterday and had a great time at my parents house. A few highlights of the day:
At the dinner table Mallory was hitting her head/face area and someone pointed it out by asking her if she liked hurting herself and she responded, "I like Pain." We all laughed super hard at that.
Then after the girls were done eating they got out my mom's homemade playdough and made playdough cookies for us. After awhile the adults were making things with the playdough...it was pretty fun!

The girls are really enjoying their dance classes and their recital is on December 15th. Mallory's Winter program is on the 16th and I haven't heard anything about Ava's.

On Election Day, Ava's class took a field trip to Miller Farm way up in Platteville, CO. They had a blast and her teacher said that all the kids fell asleep...not fell asleep...PASSED OUT on the bus ride home. The kids brought home a ton of HUGE onions, potatoes and beets. Ava got her own little pumpkin...which was so exciting for her.

In October, Ava started having homework. They are currently reading the Jack and Annie series and learning about Egypt. Last Friday her class wrapped themselves up in toilet paper like mummies. They are also working on sounding out words and then writing them. I think she is excelling in math.

Mallory's school conference revealed that she is on target and "popular." I think though that that means she plays with everyone- girls AND boys. There is a little boy from Turkey in her class that she likes to drive around on the tricycle.

I decided to take the girls' bunkbed down. The 3 ladies of the house were all for it, but Justin...not so much...maybe because he was the one who had to deconstruct it. LOL Anyway, I bought new beautiful butterfly bedspreads for them and they have their dresser between their beds with their own individual teapot lamps that a dear friend gave us. They love to sit in their beds and read books before going to sleep. Next up: get rid of the dark green paint and lighten and brighten their room. It's going to be quite the chore. I put the bedspreads on while they were watching a movie one day after school and when they discovered them they were ecstatic. I love watching them get so excited like that.

One day in November after school, Mallory buried her brand-new cute pink and gray plaid ballet flat shoes in the sand on the playground. I went back with a shovel and tried to find them, but it's definitely a lost cause. She cannot remember WHERE she buried them. We know the general area, but she must have gotten them deeeeep down there. *SIGH*

Monday, Ava's school had "Pajama and Crazy Hair Day":


I am not sure when we are going to get a tree...hopefully sometime this weekend, but Justin has a lump in his throat that hurts when he swallows...the beginning of a chest cold perhaps. He took some Mucinex so hopefully that will help. I swear this year has been bad for us as far as illnesses...with the girls in school picking up all of these new and nasty germs! I know it will get better as they get older and immune to all the bugs. We won't have to put up any outside lights because they are still up there from last year! D'oh!

One of my new favorite sites on the web: Puppy Cam!

I made this cute wood Snowmen family:

Finally proud to be an American again...

"Rosa sat so Martin could walk;
Martin walked so Obama could run;
Obama ran so our children could FLY"

I can't tell you how RELIEVED that there will not be 4 more years of the same 8 we just endured. Clearly, America spoke and THANKFULLY our democratic election WORKED!

In other news:
A certain airline canceled our flight to AZ and put us on an earlier one. While not life-threatening, it did kind of put a kink in our schedule. We are attending Q's wedding this weekend and while it will be fun to socialize and help them celebrate, Justin and I are looking to relax and kind of celebrate our 7th wedding anniversary, which is next Monday. Our marriage survived the Bush administration- only because Justin and I are on the same team... LOL

The girls had a wonderful Halloween weekend with Grandma Judy. The weather was beautiful. Now they are looking forward to a weekend with my parents.

President Obama!!!

We DID it!! Hooray!!

Back in the U.S. of A.

Justin landed in San Fran a little while ago... He was able to secure a seat in business class this time, so I am sure his flight was that much more enjoyable.

The girls and I have been SUPER busy. I feel like I barely have time to sleep at night... Last night I took them to a high school's Trick or Treat Street...they totally made out with a bunch of candy...
I bought a queen costume for myself the other day and am excited to dress up with the girls. Ava was over the moon ecstatic that I was wearing a costume too. LOL

Talked to Justin this morning. He was about to go to bed and I was telling him the weather forecast for Wednesday and he was all confused because he had just finished his Wednesday. He is in Nanking right now.
He was telling me bathroom and food stories. They were in an office building and the place where you go #2 is a hole in the ground...much like the Turkish toilets (as they were called) I used in Kazakhstan. Poor Justin. And then there wasn't any toilet paper. Apparently the companies who rent offices there supply their own t.p. but he couldn't find any...had to grab some kleenex and luckily he brought hand sanitizer with him as there wasn't any soap.
Then the food- for the most part they've eaten "normal" food- like Mexican, pizza, Brazilian and even went to an Irish restaurant for a Guinness... They had one traditional Chinese meal...with a bunch of different things on a Lazy Susan in the middle of the table. Shrimp with the tails and heads still on. Boiled chicken feet that resembled human fingers. Ducks Blood that wasn't liquid and resembled liver- he thought it was liver... Of course the hosts wanted them to try everything, but they stuck to what they knew...or thought they knew...I hope!

Ava has today-Friday off from school for the mini-break. Mallory has Thurs/Fri off... Today we went to the mall and Ava rode on the carousel in the food court. We need to go to Petsmart today... Tomorrow we don't have plans, but Friday we are going to go check out this huge tree on the Regis campus and hopefully Sunday go to this special Wizard of Oz event at the Butterfly Pavillion.

Justin is on a flight to China right this minute. There are only 6 out of 14.5 hours left of the flight...and he got stuck in economy. Poor guy!

I took the girls next door to a double combo birthday/Halloween party yesterday and they had a lot of fun. Justin was supposed to come over when he was done running errands...but he never showed up. I got tired of the small talk and Ava didn't want to leave...but I finally got them to come with me.

Back to the Grind

Justin survived Moab and made it back home safely, albeit SORE. He said that every part of his body hurts. Couldn't lift his arm to get it out of his t-shirt last night without pain. He and his teammates discussed going back next year and I think it was an unanimous No. Maybe in a couple years, but a day race would be cool to compete in. Apparently there were some HARDcore bikers out there. Guys who would continually do lap after lap without a teammate...how did they have the energy and when did they eat?? Six Million Dollar Men (and women)? We are glad Justin is home- in one piece!

I had a migraine on Saturday and felt nauseous and out of sorts until this morning. Now I have mega mountains of laundry- clean and dirty- to deal with. Is it sad that I am looking forward to it? My alarm went off at 7 this morning and each time I hit snooze it's 9 minutes. But those 9 minutes always seemed like 1 minute. We finally drug ourselves out of bed at 5 til 8 and I managed to get Ava to school on time. We are usually the first ones there in the morning. That right there is a miracle as I am sure many of you will attest to since I am usually Late... SEE- I really CAN be on time when it matters most!

Well, I better get going on that laundry.

Rainy and Relaxing Saturday...I hope...

Good Morning!

The girls slept in until 9 this morning because we didn't get home until 11 last night. They had a good time with my parents and were VERY well behaved at the pizza party. I was sitting in their basement chatting for a bit and I looked over at Ava stretched out lying on my mom and I thought, "When in the world did she get so big??" They each picked out a little pumpkin at this neighborhood thing my mom took them to before the pizza party. They got candy and of course I heard them get up this morning and get their baggies of candy, go back in their room and shut the door. I went in about 15 minutes later and sure enough...M&Ms for breakfast...oh well! They are content.

I had fun at my Pajama Party: had pizza, junk food and a bunch of laughs. For reasons I no longer remember I ended up telling everyone about the time I stubbed my toe and broke it and then scratched my cornea with my fingernail when high on vicodin... I do like to make people laugh, so even though my ear turned bright red and I said I was embarrassed, really I was just nervous... One woman made a delicious Chocolate Cream Pie!! Yum! Now I want to make one...

Both girls are enjoying dance tremendously. The teacher tells me after every class how GREAT Ava is doing. I stayed and watched half of Mallory's class yesterday and they are just sooo cute! They all run at the teacher and give her group hugs about 10 times in the hour long class. Precious!

At Mops this Thursday we had Spa Day. 3 people going to massage school came and gave us massages! Then we had paraffin wax for our hands and did foot soaks. A woman was painting toenails all fancy with polka dots, but I ran out of time... We had a yogurt bar, oatmeal bar and coffee bar! Next week I have to provide an egg dish, so I better figure out what I am going to bring.

This Wednesday was McTeacher's night at our McD's. The teachers worked to raise money for our school. So, we went and had dinner and it was cool to see Ava's teacher taking our order...and to see a bunch of classmates! It was LOUD in there though...I think everyone walked out of there with a little ear damage!

So I was going to tell you about Ava's Book Buddies. The 6th graders pair up with Kindergarteners and they read books to them. Ava's 2 buddies, Olivia and Carl, also happened to be Students of the Month when Ava was...so at the breakfast they said hi to her and Olivia gave her a hug. Ever since then, when Carl sees Ava after school outside he says hi to her. The 6th graders made cards for the K's and I am now going to describe Ava's:

Olivia's card to Ava says "Thank you!! :) :)" on the front. She drew a red flower on the inside and wrote, "Thank you, Ava!! You're the best!! From: your Bookbuddie Olivia"

Carl's card to Ava says "Good job Ava" on the front with a drawing of a heart butterfly and some kind of fish/eel/snake looking thing with hearts on the antennae. Inside it says, "Your the star of this card! Have a good year! From Carl" On the back he drew a red heart.

There were identical twin brothers in the other K class and they came to school every day with the SAME outfits, so the teachers decided to split them up. Ava was telling me all about it and I asked her if they were twins like our friends Ellery & Oliver and she said, "Yes, but their FACES look EXACTLY the SAME." She thinks it's the most amazing thing...

I have the Sex and the City movie to watch tonight...I am looking forward to it. Justin told me he would NOT watch it, but then when it arrived in the mail this week he said, "I suppose I have to watch this with you..." and it almost sounded like he wasn't too broken up about it. LOL I told him I got it for when he was in Moab, so he was off the hook.

Friday night

The girls are with my parents, I am going to a Pajama Party with some gals from MOPS and Justin made it to Moab. He sent me an e-mail saying he has good cell coverage at their campsite and that they were going for a ride. I think that is Adam in the picture.

A Big Blur

Things lately have been a big blur. BIG-O Blur. Essentially, I spent 2 full weekends hiding out in our bedroom while Justin tried to give the girls some kind of normalcy. Last weekend I sat on the couch most of Saturday and FINALLY on Sunday I was able to do stuff with mini-breaks every 15 minutes. I quit using the inhaler of Albuterol the dr gave me because it was making me vomit. Lovely. Out of the past 8 days, my left ear has been completely plugged for 7 of them. I feel like I haven't really been there for my kids in my constant coughing and nose blowing condition and I also haven't finished buying, let alone mailed their cousin Keira's birthday present. Talk about WAY late. I apologize. During the week- just getting the girls to and from school and activities took all of my energy. There was none leftover for a quick trip to the store for food. Justin was my gopher. He's also getting ready for Moab- check out his team's page El Chupacabras. I shouldn't have clicked on the Skull Session page...now I am going to be worried! Oy! I can't find anything on the site about the live stats...perhaps just go to that page on that weekend?

Off to the Doctor

For a follow-up AND to have her check out Mallory's head wound. She fell at school and they called me... It was bleeding a little, but stopped by the time I got there, however I think a pebble might be in there and I want the doctor to look at it just in case.

I need to tell you about Ava's BookBuddies and how fascinated she is by identical twins.

Will do that later...

House of All Things Sick

I'm thinking I was misdiagnosed at the doctor's office last week, for I am not feeling better. I have no energy and a really low to absent appetite.

2 hours before Mallory's party was to start she threw up. Poor kid. She was acting just fine before and now she's napping and puking. :(

I know Justin is worried about getting sick before or during Moab...

I would love to lie down and take a nap myself but every time I do I get such a severe tickle in my throat that I have to sit up and cough for a million years.

Hopefully this time next week I can say that everyone is healthy!

Still Coughing up a Lung

and apparently a week long stomach flu is going around. Just Lovely. **knock on wood** **Cross Fingers & Toes**

Mallory's party will be this Saturday, *knock wood again*, and my friend and I went to this cool party store today to get stuff... So much stuff. And guess what I found-- My Tooth Treasure Chests. Does anyone remember those things? They are something that I never would have remembered until I saw them. So Cool! I bought 4... Ava still doesn't have any loose teeth though. And then the really weird thing is that when we picked up the kids a guy was walking with one of those because he had lost his tooth at school today.

Mallory would not walk from our car to Ava's door today and I could not carry her since I was carrying the Thursday Folders tub. A mom acquaintance of mine said she'd wait with her for me. I asked Mallory after she left if she knew who that was- Mallory was sitting on her lap on the curb...lol and she said NO. Nice Stranger Danger...unless she did in fact hear the woman and I discuss it.

This morning the girls were fighting over a toy, sitting on the ground and Ava took both her feet and totally kicked Mallory in the chest. Then at school a kid hit Mallory in the lip with a toy. They said she cried pretty hard and they put ice on it. Poor kid didn't have a very good day...

A woman at MOPS today said they found a mass in her breast - she thought something was wrong, like clogged duct, because her 6 month old always rejected that breast. The first step is a mammogram. She is only 34. I keep hearing of all of these women, younger and younger that have breast cancer. So scary... Which reminds me I better call and make an appointment for a full physical.

Ava said she made Wizard hats at school today. I asked her why and she wouldn't/couldn't tell me.

I am glad our shows are starting to come back on. Last night we watched Gary Unmarried. It was pretty funny...standard, but not Horrible. Earl and the Office is on tonight. **rubbing hands together**

I slept in an upright position for half the night last night, but this time it was in our bed. Much more comfortable than the couch even if you aren't lying down.

2 weeks until 24 hours of Moab. Justin said he and his team need to ride in the dark some night to practice. Why does that make me nervous???? I might have a link so you can have a real time update on the race...

When I was at the doctors' office the physician assistant who helped me said as she handed me my prescriptions, "I wish I could write you a prescription for a babysitter!" LOL I love P.A.s..they are always the nicest people.

Ass Kicking and Frosting Licking

This virus (please let it be a virus) is kicking my ass. I spent ALL weekend out of commission and slept on the couch last night but still woke up Justin with my incessant hacking and gagging. My throat feels raw from all the aggravation. I sort of have an appetite and my temp goes from normal to 101.5 and then back down and up, etc...

Yesterday Justin had to be the main parent again. He made Mallory's cupcakes -strawberry with vanilla frosting- (yuk!) and after lunch we sang Happy Birthday to her. Then a little later she opened a few presents. All I wanted to do was sit there or lie there...so I went in the bedroom after awhile. Justin mowed the backyard and then they all rode their bikes up to the school to play for a bit. For dinner, he took them to the McD's drive-thru- per Mallory's request for her birthday dinner. The toys are Wizard of Oz characters and the girls now want to see that movie...real bad.

Ava is still having such a hard time with the fact that it's someone else's birthday...and I even got her a little gift so she wouldn't feel left out. That is the first time I have done that and geez with how ungrateful she was about it I probably won't do it again. Mallory is so nice with sharing- it was HER birthday and yet Ava spent a lot of time playing with Mallory's new My Little Pony remote control scooter. I don't know about Ava and this sense of entitlement....

Mallory keeps reminding me that she is NOT 4 yet, even though she IS, because she doesn't turn 4 until her "guestus" come over....at least in the world according to Miss Mallory. LOL

Mallory is 4 years old today!

Happy Birthday!!! I hope you have a fantastic day today!

Sick House

Mallory was sick on Wed. Ava acted sick on Friday, but only at home- when we were out doing fun stuff she was perfectly fine. Saturday found me with the chills big time. I tried to do a few things when the acetaminophen had kicked in, but basically my butt was kicked. The highest temp was 102. **I just spilled an entire cup of coffee on myself** Luckily not on my laptop.

All the stuff you were wondering about and more...

I have been so busy that I haven't even thought of writing here. So here I am today...

Last Thursday Justin flew to Vegas for Q's bachelor party. They had many alcohol fueled late nights...er or would that be early mornings....and then sleeping in until noon.

Friday I met Jill for lunch- yummy Mexican food! I ate so much I thought I was going to be sick. I had a hard time sleeping Thursday night, so was suffering from lack of sleep also. That afternoon after school Mallory was sitting on our living room floor and was stung on the palm of her hand by a wasp. This is the 2nd time in 2 months that this has happened to her. Yes, we have had a big wasp problem in various areas around our house...

Saturday we met my mom and dad for lunch. The restaurant had Dirt Cake with these HUGE gummy worms for the girls' dessert. Then we went to the play "Hansel and Gretel" at Heritage Square. The girls got to go on stage, so that was neat for them. Mallory was the last one off the stage and had trouble finding her way back to where we were sitting. After the play we went to my parents' house and Mallory had a snack and then my mom and I took them to a park. Fun stuff. Friday night I had watched a documentary called "The Jaundiced Eye" so wanted something light and cheery for Saturday night, but by the time I got them to bed I was too tired to get off the couch...I listened to music on my computer with headphones and then went to bed.

Justin returned from Vegas around 2 something on Sunday and was extremely tired. He napped all day. The girls napped with him and watched some shows. I shut myself in the bedroom and watched a few episodes of QAF (Queer as Folk).

Monday, Mallory and I met Jennifer and Declan at a park. We brought their bikes and Mallory was having fun riding around when some older biker (teen) kid ran smack dab into her. She fell down and a lady ran over to her (we were on the other side of the playground, but could see her). The guy just kept riding his bike. The lady apologized profusely. She wasn't hurt and got right back up and rode away. Jennifer and I concluded that the guy on the bike was mentally disabled...makes sense because I mean who wouldn't stop and apologize? Anyway...they had a good time.

Tuesday, my friend Kara and I went to a few stores while all the kids were at school. Much needed food shopping. After dinner, my mom picked me up and we went to Avenue Q. Really liked it! We were in the nosebleed section though and for 2 people with a fear of heights the seats were not ideal.

Wednesday, I woke up with a scratchy throat and Mallory said she had a headache. We walked Ava to school. Mallory ate some yogurt and then spread it all over her legs...why?...don't ask me! So, I put her in the tub and she cleaned herself. She kept complaining that her head and eyes hurt. Took her temp and it was only 99...so not scary or anything. Gave her some Motrin for her headache and asked what she wanted for lunch. Made her lunch and she wouldn't eat...so I put her in bed. She laid there for half an hour, not really sleeping, but not really acting normal. I was then in the laundry room spraying some stains when she jumps into the kitchen yelling and scaring the crap out of me. She said she was hungry...so she ate a whole bowl of macaroni and cheese, 3 chicken nuggets an entire apple and banana. 2 hours later we had to go pick up Ava and Mallory said she was too tired to go...so I had to carry her. She again complained about her head and kept her head down most of the time, as if the sun was hurting her eyes. Her friend Alexander brought her a present...SO CUTE. He had a pair of purple, dangly princess earrings in a box with tissue paper. Mallory fell asleep in the 30 second car ride home...so I put her on the loveseat where she slept for awhile. Justin came home early to meet his friends for a bike ride. I gave Mallory some medicine and not 5 minutes later she had puked. She slept for a little while after and then didn't want to sit on the couch anymore. Ever since then she's been acting completely normal. Could it have been a migraine? After we got the girls to bed we watched a movie that Justin had already seen on the flight to India earlier this year...and then I went and fell asleep... The day exhausted me. I was planning on getting to the store by myself to get Mallory's birthday present, but wasn't able to...so today Kara, Ava, Sydney and I might go shopping and then maybe something else while the little ones are at school. Tomorrow everyone has the day off of school...

The girls already have their Christmas dresses. A friend gave me her daughter's dress from last year and then my mom got one for Mallory...of course they want to wear them NOW...

I am not sure what we'll do for Mallory's birthday- which is this Sunday. Maybe go out to dinner? Her party isn't until the following Saturday and I plan on bringing cookies or cupcakes to her school next Tuesday. Fun stuff. Ava, of course, is upset/jealous that it is not HER birthday. She dumped a bunch of crayons on the floor and pulled my books off the bookshelf to show her unhappiness. The thing is, Mallory is better at sharing stuff than Ava is, so she shouldn't get that upset. *SIGH*

I bought the girls these dollar calendars from a craft store awhile ago. Mallory owned the fairy one which means Ava was left with the monster one. I am sure you can imagine how that played out. Well, she's over it now... The calendars have pictures on every month that the girls can color...so they've been working on those for a couple days.

Cute/funny things:

Ava asked me if she pooped every day would it prevent her from EVER getting sick (ie: vomiting). I had to break the bad news to her gently. She has such a fear of puke...even when it's other people or EVEN when we talk about it and no one is even sick.

Last night as I was making them a late half-ass dinner Ava looked out our kitchen window and saw the guy across the street mowing his lawn. She said, "Hey- someone is out there lawn mowing...and it's not even time for lawn mowing." I just thought it was cute. It WAS getting dark out...so it was kinda odd.

Ava has this obsession with asking me if I like babies. The correct answer is no, according to her. I think she has this fear that I am going to have another one. *shrug* Ok, this isn't one of the cute things.

I bought Mallory her Tinkerbell candle for her cake and she already managed to break Tink's head off...Ooops... Poor Tink! Not really cute or funny.

I don't think I mentioned that a couple weeks ago Mo got out in the front yard when my mom came over and she started chasing a squirrel up a tree. I didn't have shoes on, so my mom ran out and got her down... I think she got scared the further up the tree she went. What an adventure for a housecat! She just wanted to play with the squirrel...yah right!

Alright- that is all that I can think of right now.

TGIF!!!

Student of the Month!!! It was a great breakfast and the turnout was actually pretty decent. The other student from her class who was chosen made it as well. While she was sitting there 2 older students came up and said hello to her- a girl who was her Book Buddy and a boy... Ava couldn't remember their names, but they knew hers. Then the girl gave her a hug as we were leaving. Another classmate of hers who is in the before school care gave her a hug in the hallway as we were making our way back outside. She is definitely liked.

Life in our household was pretty rough last night. Ava had an accident in the tub and was all upset, but I kept telling her that I wasn't mad. After I cleaned everything- including them again- I was able to get them in bed by 8:30. Mallory gave in to slumber about 9, but Ava was up until 10:30... I got in bed at 11 and was asleep before midnight. Ava was awake at 2 and 5. At 5 I just laid in a semi-comatose state until 6. I could have just not taken her early to the breakfast, but I think it's important...so I am pretty sure I'll have one VERY tired Kindergartner later today.
It's raining cats and dogs today-- NICE!!

After dropping Ava off at school today, Mallory and I drove to a MOPS meeting. It was the first of the school year. I joined. I am trying to expand my horizons and not be so isolated. Mallory had fun playing with the other kids. When it was over she ate her lunch in the car as I drove to school. She had a little accident there...which is why they ask to bring extra underwear and clothes.

Absolutely

Palin: Wrong Woman, Wrong Message

Student of the Month

This morning when we dropped Ava off at school her teacher handed me and another mother a green slip of paper. Both our kids have been chosen as Student of the Month for September. They must choose 2 kids from each class... Anyway, there is a breakfast celebration on Friday for them in the library. Pretty awesome!!

In other news, while I was making coffee this morning Justin asked me if I thought the girls' room smelled like vomit or diarrhea. Sure enough, it DID and it was nasty! Apparently Mallory pooped her pants either right before she fell asleep or in her sleep (can she even DO that?) and laid there under 2 blankets all night...which is why I didn't smell it in the middle of the night when Ava got up to pee. So, Mallory has already had a sponge bath and I've already done 2 loads of laundry.

Aurora and Tink

Ava is going to be Sleeping Beauty and Mallory will be Tinkerbell for Halloween. They've already got their costumes and now we are counting down the days... 50 some odd days can't get here soon enough. For now, their outfits are hung in my closet so as not to get ripped or otherwise mutilated between now and October 31st. I am kind of getting in the spirit of things and have considered dressing up myself, but then I think Nah... I hope we have decent weather though.

Last week Justin was in Kansas and I attended the girls' Back to School night by myself. While he was on a bike ride yesterday I took A&M to the craft store to get some Halloween projects. They got some really cute stuff.

Our weekend was pretty run-of-the-mill. I need to start planning Mallory's birthday festivities.

Soooo gross!

Sitting here with Mallory I noticed she is sticking her finger in her nostril and then in her mouth. She sure loves her boogers. I asked her if she was eating them and she said, "Yah, I dip it in like this and then eat it." *shaking head* I then asked her if she liked her boogers and she said, "Yah they taste good. They taste like meat!" I don't know about her...

Today I asked Mallory who she wanted to invite to her birthday party. Owen & Declan, Ellery, Oliver & Daphne, Keira & Trevor. I told her I didn't think Keira & Trevor could come since they live so far away to which she replied, "Well, they can drive..." Yes they can...

She said she wanted a new kitty toy for her birthday. Specifically, a new meowing cat called Mo. Hmm. New My Little Ponies. Barbie Mermaid stuff-That's all I could get out of her... She wants the purple one and of course one of the ones on the lily pad that sprays water.

So it's like this

I've actually been rather busy, but, also, our modem crapped out. We had to have our provider come and replace our outdated one with a brand spanking new one. Then our router was being a bitch, but Justin tricked it and our 48 some odd hours of no internet was over. Justin worked from home Monday and Tuesday and about 1 p.m, Tues we lost connection...so he went for a bike ride.

Then I was just busy transporting kids to and from school, lunch dates, dinner dates and mall cruising for Halloween outfits, among other things- Did you know that Spencer's IN THE MALL sells vibrators? MmmK. I don't recall there being an adult section in there when I was a teenager. My how times have changed OR I WAS really naive...

Mallory skinned her knees multiple times this week. Ouchy black gravel in the wound type skinning. Ava's best friend Sydney's brother, Austin, is in Mallory's preschool and he tells his mom that Mallory is HIS best friend. Austin and Mallory were holding hands as we walked to our cars one day after school. SOOO adorable!

While the internet was down I cleaned our basement...as best I could.

I really enjoyed Barack's speech Thursday night. One friend said the next day, "Well he promised the WORLD last night..." and I screamed, silently in my head only, "BUT 8 IS ENOUGH!!!" Unless McCain "promises" the same things there really is no sane reason to vote for him... IN MY OPINION... I AM tired of the good ol' boy frat party we've had in office for the past 8 years. I am tired of large corporations and the rich mattering MORE than a hard working middle class American. *shrug* I am tired of being lied to. Ready for change.

Busy Week Last Week

even though Ava only went 2 days. One sick day and 2 non-contact days. They were testing kids to see where they were academically. Ava is right where she needs to be. The teacher told me that she can tell a big difference between the kids who were in preschool using Tools of the Mind, those in preschool not using Tools and those that never went to preschool.

Today is the beginning of the first FULL week of school for Ava. Exciting- for her AND me. Justin is working from home today and tomorrow due to the DNC. He'll either ride his bike in Wed. or work at the CSC.

I have been really tired lately. Not sure why. I've been more physically active, but I thought that was supposed to give you more energy, not sap you of all you've got. *shrug*

Nothing Major to Talk About

Ava says school makes her tired- especially when she is there ALL day.

Mallory's teacher says she won't say but 2 words. She already has a "best friend"- a girl named Sarah.

Ava constantly talks about her friend Sydney- Sydney this and Sydney that and Mallory talks about Sarah this and Sarah that. Too cute!

We are having some difficulty getting the girls to bed. It took Ava almost 2 hours to give in to sleep last night.

Ava's bed wetting has pretty much stopped since she FINALLY started going #2 almost every day. This has been a year long saga...and I am just so glad she decided to quit holding it. Makes many lives so much happier.

It is so cute when I pick up Mallory. All of the kids are sitting in the middle of the room on a rug with their backpacks and they can't get up until someone is there to pick them up. It's the same preschool as Ava went to, but they seem much more organized this year. Last year they mixed the all day kids with the preschool kids and preschool was only in the morning. This year they have one room which is ONLY all day kids and then the other room for morning and afternoon school sessions.

Justin is biking to work this week and next because he gave up his parking space for the DNC. Due to the rain and his cold he hasn't been able to bike for a week and is worried he's getting out of shape.

House of Pain

Ava is home sick, but of course feels better NOW...oh well. Mallory doesn't have school on Mondays. Justin stayed home because he has what they have. I have had nausea and stuff for 2 days, so I'm not in the best of shape either...

Last night Ava was practically beside herself that she probably wouldn't be going to school today, yet at the same time she was in pain and had a temp of 101.5. She was cold and miserable, so we put her to bed. She woke every half hour to hour wailing in pain. Ok, maybe not wailing, but crying out. When I'd go in their room she'd have her eyes closed so I'd quietly sneak out and let her sleep.

Think I'll make a Spaghetti Pie tonight for dinner. I have most of the ingredients, which is rare.

2 Sick Kids

We all survived the first week of school, but the girls have colds. Ava slept on the couch last night because her throat hurt- she seemed to think it would feel better if she wasn't in her bed. Kid logic continues to baffle me. Mallory has been sick since Friday and she's only complained twice. Ava, however, reminds me every half hour that something hurts or she is somehow uncomfortable with her existence. *sigh* It's only 9 a.m. Think a trip to Michael's to get crafts might be a good idea in a little while- if anything, for my sanity!

Justin is off-roading today.

The Carnation Festival and parade were canceled yesterday due to rain, lightening and thunder. Ava was very disappointed as she had been looking forward to the parade for many months. Likewise, our yard had been looking forward to the rain for many months.

Poor Mallory

This morning she was upset that she doesn't get to go to school at the same time as Ava, but she gets Mommy time. LOL We needed new kid shampoo so we went to the store. She found a soft, stuffed pony that she would not put down. I had to promise to buy stickers instead. Finally she put the pony back (I told her she could ask for it for her birthday) and we were back on track. She also got a sucker at the bank. Someday, hopefully she'll remember this time and feel gratitude...unlike Ava who was too young to now remember being an only child. Wishful thinking I guess..

When I picked up Mallory yesterday her face was bright red. They had just finished playing outside and she was hot and thirsty. It was painful for her to wait for Ava to get checked out of Kindergarten. Today I will bring something for her to drink...

I spent most of my time alone yesterday cleaning the house. I figure it won't get as messy with them not here most of the time so I won't clean every day. Funny: I spoke to a few other moms who were waiting for their kids and we ALL said we cleaned. LOL It's like we didn't know what to do with ourselves... I can already tell a drastic difference in my mood- not that I don't love my kids to death, but I guess I didn't realize how very hard it is to be a stay-at-home-mom. It IS and I survived...partially intact. Anyway, I could tell my mood was better because the thought of making dinner wasn't something I was loathing, per usual. Good stuff!

First day of School

Kindergarten for Ava

Preschool for Mallory

Ava has been gone for 3 hours already... There are a few kids from her preschool that are in her class, including Sydney who she was also in dance with and liked a lot. Also, a little boy named Bryson from around the corner. I hung out with his mom for awhile back when he was little, but his mom & dad split up and she moved down south...he went to preschool by her residence and is now here for Kindy. Cool. I always liked all of them.

Mallory and I will head out the door after we finish lunch.

I have already been twice as productive this morning as I have been in a looong time. Yea me. LOL

Will post pictures I took this morning in Flickr when I get back from taking Mallory...

A Riot

Last week when the girls were taking a bath they kept getting in and out, in and out...retrieving more toys to play with in the tub. After a few minutes of the back and forth, Justin went in the bathroom to see what was going on. Mallory had put 5 or 6 STUFFED animals in the bath. Out they went, with much protest, and into the dryer. Sheesh!

Ava asked my mom why her house was always so clean, to which she responded that she likes a clean and tidy house. Then Ava then said- "I think that's just a waste of time."

Then a few nights ago Ava would NOT go to sleep. She was hot and wanted to change pajamas and was having a meltdown. Justin told her she was hot because she was "crying her head off." And the panic began. She thought she could literally cry her head off and was lying on the floor petrified that her head would in fact disengage from her body.

Last night Justin was watching an episode of Two and a Half Men. One of the characters blurted out, "I'm getting laid tonight" JUST as the girls ran in the room. Ava then quipped, "I'm getting LATE tonight"...but it still sounded like Laid. *sigh*

Food

The weekend is almost over.
Friday night we procrastinated about dinner until I gave in and made chicken tacos. I had to give myself a pep talk in order to get the proper motivation to cut up vegetables.
I used to enjoy cooking- well I enjoyed finding and trying out new recipes, but nowadays it's somewhat painful. I'd rather not eat if I have to go into the kitchen, defrost meat or cut vegetables and concoct something edible and nutritious. I used to live on bean burritos or nachos and mashed potatoes: plain (with butter and s&p of course) or with cheese- Parmesan, Cheddar, Cream...or whatever was in the fridge at the time. The burritos were usually refried beans from a can, but occasionally I would make homemade pinto beans and mash and fry them in bacon grease. Divine. Those burritos were usually smothered with green chile, but it wasn't a requirement. Back in college I hadn't discovered nachos yet - I mean I had eaten them, but I had never made my own. I survived on spaghetti- noodles and jarred sauce, no meat- oh but don't forget the mound of parmesan cheese that truly made the meal what it was- Yum-O. So, spaghetti and the bean burritos. Every once in awhile I had Chocolate Malt-o-Meal and peanut butter toast for dinner. I made the mistake of eating the burritos right before my Self Defense class and farted up a storm while learning how to defend would be rapists on campus, so I switched to the cereal and toast. One summer, the summer I stayed in Greeley and took a class or two, I worked at Hardee's and was fond of their Ham & Cheese melt sandwich. Other than that I had dinner at Chili's once every other week or so and had a big salad, but the most made and eaten thing that summer was mashed potato burritos. The one ingredient that made it worthwhile was the cajun seasoning I stirred into the potatoes. I haven't made one for a long time - and frankly really don't have the desire to go there again, but I can recall exactly what they tasted like. I never got into the Ramen noodle meal thing and I know that what I ate was better than a lot of people I know. One guy I knew made Kraft mac & cheese with water instead of milk- he also applied for and used food stamps.
After college, I lived with my parents briefly and I was spoiled with the delicious meals my mom presented on the dinner table most every night. I also consumed heaping bowls of mashed potatoes and frozen soft pretzels covered in melted American cheese slices.
Once I was on my own, living in an apartment on 14th and Federal (thereabout) I ate massive amounts of cold cereal. I could eat bowl after bowl after bowl. It was grotesque. Another favorite was Totino's pizzas...you know those tiny personal sized ones that have mega amounts of fat in them and the serving size was 2 but you ate the whole thing because it was just the right size for dinner... During that time the person I was dating and I ate at Red Robin and various Mexican restaurants weekly. I must have had a vegetable at some point.
Moving in with Jill finally got me cooking, shall we say, normally. We cooked some dinners together and her meals were more well-balanced. I still made the nachos. Thursday nights we would watch Friends and then ER and eat popcorn. Friday nights she'd go to Happy Hour with co-workers while I was still at work, so by the time I got home she was ready to go to bed. I oft times would rent movies and consume wine and McDonald's by myself. Or if she hadn't gone out we would gorge ourselves on Red Lobster.
When Justin and I first lived together I insisted on getting Chinese take-away once a week- no less than twice a month for soure. Dominos was ordered a lot. Oh and let's not forget the ultimate fast food-- Chipotle. Even now, I have reduced my intake of that delectable monstrous meal. I did cook- actually used recipes from cookbooks. We grilled, and still do. I got better at the whole meal thing. I made homemade lasagna with sauce from scratch. Baked Potato Soup. I used the crockpot, but just this past year I have really realized how much I don't enjoy cooking Every Day. It has to be fast and easy- (I remember, before kids, I'd make scalloped or au gratin potatoes and would stand forever in the kitchen slicing paper thin (right!) slices)- yet in the recent past I wouldn't settle easily for soup and sandwiches. Soup and sandwiches never sounded good to me. Now, if I REALLY don't feel like cooking I will eat a sandwich or soup... Progress. But much of what I craved was that which is gourmet- new and more often than not complicated recipes-or at least a recipe calling for a 10 different specific things that I did not have in the kitchen and were expensive- ie: nothing you'd find on the table of a midwest farming community. Things like Pine Nuts, Saffron, fresh Basil, Sea Salt and some Asian fish sauce. I think out of all the things listed I only ever used Pine Nuts and the Basil.
When Justin travels I skip dinner and have popcorn. Bad...but oh so good. A few years ago I was addicted to these Ling Ling vegetable spring rolls. I'd alternate between those, popcorn and nachos. Maybe with Ava in school all day and Mallory gone 3 afternoons a week I will get more into a groove of cooking...and get unstuck from the things I am hung up on.
I also failed to get the gardening and cleaning gene.

Happy August

I am glad that August is here- July is over. What a chaotic summer we've had so far. Even on my vacations I haven't felt relaxed. Can I have a vacation from the summer? I do get an afternoon to myself tomorrow, which is better than nothing. My parents are taking the girls to Georgetown and Justin is going to Winter Park to mountain bike for a bachelor party. I have my WFS meeting, lunch with a some of the women afterwards and then who knows what... Because of this upcoming freedom, I have been trying to pick up around the house today. I feel like the girls are at my heels dropping breadcrumbs- well more like My Little Ponies, Princesses and clothes...oh and hair ties, head bands and barrettes... oh my! *sigh* If I get the top of the refrigerator cleaned off and reorganized before Justin gets home I will pat myself on the back. I wanted to get to the pantry, but that doesn't look like it's happening. The girls are supposed to be folding and putting away all the clothes they got out of their dresser earlier today when they were playing "store," but I can hear them laughing and playing Yesterday they were at each other's throats. Hitting and kicking and yelling and just not getting along and then somehow I was involved- I guess because I am the Mom- and I was told to go back on vacation. I was wished out of their lives (Ava's) and honestly by 9 p.m. last night I just couldn't deal with it anymore. I was beyond the point of having a rational mind. Justin got mad at me for having such a cow.

One issue I am dealing with is Ava's pink eye. She needs 2 drops in each eye every 4 hours and you'd think we were performing surgery on her without an anesthetic. I thought her poop issues were horrific. Nah..that's a piece of cake. At least with going to the bathroom...it is something between her body and mind. I am just there for cheerleading and doula type purposes. The eye drops are something a trusted individual (me) is doing TO HER. But there is no choice here, it something that has to be done, or it won't go away. She says she's scared of the drops. I get that. But still after doing it 7 times already she still has issues. It doesn't hurt or anything...she has told me this. Finally, I got advice from some friends to have her close her eyes and put the drops in the corner and let it seep in. That works, but her immediate reaction is to SIT UP...therefore I don't know how much medicine is actually going in her eye. ****SIGH****

In better news, I signed Ava up, officially, for Kindergarten yesterday. And I signed up for PTA- they were giving out lollipops so the girls were happy!

One promise I've made to myself when school starts is to REALLY start writing. More here and in general. I always tell myself I am going to, but once I get on the computer I start responding to e-mails or get on a board or just plain net surfing... I never do get around to opening Word and getting words on paper (or the screen.) I am too perfectionistic that it paralyzes me from doing anything out of fear of failure. Why try when I am sure I'll fail? I am not really good at ONE thing. So why bother? I have always thought that there was something wrong with my brain. I was always so distracted or nervous or ? to be able to concentrate in a class. And even those classes I DID like and concentrate in- I still would wander in my thoughts. I'd look around at people and wonder about who they were outside of school. I never would, and I mean NEVER (unless of course part of our grade was based on class participation) would speak up in class. I am the type of person that (well used to as it's getting better) would be so fricking nervous speaking in front of a class or even a roomful of strangers- heck even a FEW strangers- that I'd end up holding my breath and thus couldn't speak very well. I am still like this to some degree, but I will say that going to my WFS meeting every week - meeting these women as strangers- and discussing what we discuss has really helped me. The point of the meetings isn't, of course, to improve my social skills...it's just become an extra added bonus. I always thought I needed to fill myself with wine, or whatever, in order to socialize. And it might have been very well true. For some reason, I just never learned how to do it without wine...sad, but true. That isn't to say that I was drunk all the time...no, no, no...I just learned how to get out of the scary situations by either being co-dependent with someone or isolating myself. I was very good at both. But one cannot survive that way- well one can, but not very happily- plus there is no monetary compensation for it. Just bucketloads of grief. Ok so I went off a big ol' tangent or 2 there... So I am going to try and spend more time writing- I will have the time so I should use it. Not that it will lead to bigger and better things, but it's something I enjoy. Ok. Enough said by me today.

Ok, ok, ok...

I am finally back in Colorado. The summer is almost over and I've traveled enough: Pennsylvania, Minnesota and Florida. I am not leaving for a few months. Justin doesn't have any scheduled business trips for awhile. School starts on the 12th of August.

Update

We have Sunday morning available to visit with Grandpa & Grandma Paulsen, so we hope they are available then... I don't have anyone's e-mail...so am announcing it to the world.

The girls woke up this morning and before they left their room they had packed their backpacks. I'll have to go through them sometime today to make sure that Mallory isn't trying to bring every single stuffed animal she owns...

Justin has his list of things to do and I have my list of things to do and pack...and if all is accomplished by bedtime tonight we will be ready to roll in the early morning dark on Saturday.
One thing I was concerned about is the life jackets that the girls have been using. I am not sure if they will still fit...since they are in MN I can't look and see...I am not even sure who has them.
Things that make you go Hmmm.

Vacation Plans

Arrive Saturday the 12th

Sunday- visit both grandparents

Mon-Wed - Leech Lake

Thurs- return to Moorhead in the morning and then spend time with Jim

Thurs night- hang out with Wendy & Scott at their house or Joel & Nichole's or ??

Friday- Spend time with Jim

Saturday- Drive back

First Post on my New Computer

It's a laptop or I guess "Notebook PC" with a built-in webcam so I can call my sister in Florida and use Skypes to see her and talk to her that way. SO cool!

Other than that I am trying to get organized and ready and packed for our trip to Minnesota. We leave the 12th and will be back either the 19th or 20th. Then the next weekend I will be off to Florida to meet my nephew...

Thirty Freaking 7 Years Old

I am actually not loathing this day like I did last year. 36 was bad...because you are now on your way to 40...no longer 35...the downward spiral. 37 is just 37...not 38 or 39, but when I am 39- watch out...might be a replay of 36. I've been awake since 4 something this a.m. and didn't fall asleep until almost 1. Insomnia I guess. Last week I had it bad too. I did get 3 nights of 9 hours sleep in a row each night this weekend, so I can't be hurting that badly. I finished my book, have some coffee and am waiting for the girls to wake up.

Everyday I walk around with things in my head that I want to write down- things that happen, and thoughts too, but then by the time I sit down to write I have forgotten what they are. No, not Alzheimer's...

Had a very busy weekend-

Friday made a rhubarb pie in the morning with the girls while Justin rode his bike. Then, Ava and I picked my parents up from the airport. We ate dinner and watched fireworks at my parents' house later. The fireworks were the most beautiful display I think I have ever seen.

Saturday went to my meeting where I brought the topic: Happiness. It went well. Took Ava to the store to get birthday presents for Oliver, Ellery and Daphne...all have birthdays in July! They had a party Saturday afternoon/evening that we went to but weren't invited to until Saturday morning. Jill swore she told me about it a week ago, but then had this weird feeling, so she called and we were in the dark. All the kids had a BLAST playing and eating and jumping on the trampoline!

Sunday Justin went on another bike ride with some different (different as in new and new as in he's never biked with them before) guys from his work. He took the girls to Costco while I went to the library. Did laundry, cleaned up a bit. I already have most of the girls clothes washed and packed and hopefully I am bringing enough so we don't have to do laundry...or much. Will see how that plays out.

Going to have lunch with my mom and the girls today and then I promised the girls we'd go to Coldstone Creamery for ice cream on my birthday...am thinking though that maybe I can convince them to get an ice cream cake to bring home (will try to sell them on the fact that there is more ice cream for everyone that way...extended throughout the week/month) so cross your fingers that it works.... Not sure what I want to do regarding dinner tonight. I don't really have a hankering for any particular thing.

Friday we met Jill at the zoo and had a bunch of fun. This was the first time I've been there without worrying about losing the girls. They didn't misbehave at all...which was amazing. Afterwards we went to my parents house for the afternoon. Had a good time there too. Watered plants and took a walk.

Saturday I had my meeting and it was...EH... Sometimes there are really great meetings and I feel energized afterwards and then sometimes I feel like it was a waste of time. I hate when I feel that way, because I owe my life to this organization. *shrug*
Justin went on a bike ride in the afternoon and I hung out with the girls. They helped him wash the black Jeep.

Sunday we met our off-road club for a picnic/meeting at a park in Arvada. Had a good time. The group has changed. It used to be party central and now the vibe is more family friendly. The girls had fun running around this huge soccer field.
We lounged at home the rest of the day... Girls played in the front yard while Justin and I sat on the porch talking. Justin and Ava went for a bike ride while Mallory made mudpies and I read a book.
Ava would not go to bed last night. She ended up sleeping on the couch all night.
Both girls are uber crabby today. Going to be a long day....

What is Going On?

Summer stuff.

The girls slide into the swimming pool. They spent about 2 hours doing that yesterday and it was the first thing they wanted to do this morning. I cleaned out the breezeway and put their toy kitchen and little table out there. They were thrilled.

They have also befriended the 2 little girls that live across the street and one house over to the right. Yesterday we saw them riding their bikes (in the street with no helmets) when we came back from our errands (airport, car emissions and Costco). Ava & Mallory forgot about lunch- all they wanted to do was get to know these 2 girls. They live with their Grandma and great-aunt (?). I let them follow the girls up the street on their bikes IF and only IF I was in the street there with them. Mallory is slower (and the youngest of the bunch) so we were still on our way back home when I saw Ava & her two new friends RUN into our house. *sigh* It took about 10 minutes for me to get everyone out into the front yard. The older neighbor said that her sister told her grandma that they were over here. Well, I don't know about YOU, but I would never let my kids into someone's house that I didn't know quite well, let alone AT ALL. The grandma was in the street by their bikes and was mad at them for not coming home. From what I could tell, when the little one went to talk to her grandma the grandma said they needed to come inside because they had errands to run...but the little one ignored those instructions. The grandma didn't even acknowledge me and off they went. I was thinking....HMMMM.... So later on, before dinner, we were in the front watering flowers and they all drive by smiling and waving (the grandma)... This morning the neighbor girls were out on their bikes again, wanting to play. I feel weird about having them come over- even in our backyard if their guardians don't really seem to care. They don't KNOW me. Know what I mean? *shrug*

Skate

Today I am going to a spa products open house. After that- errands and then I am taking Ava to a skate party from 2-4. She has never gone skating before and it's been forever since I have...this will be entertaining, to say the least...

I subbed at my friend's Bunco night. I FINALLY didn't need complete instructions again in order to play...and I could finally have conversations while playing.

This morning Ava woke up before Mallory and we were sitting in the living room on opposite couches. She asked, "So, how was your game last night?" I told her, "I won!" (I broke even) She exclaimed, "Oh Wow! That is GREAT!" I have such a lovely child.

This is the same child who, when she was last with my mother and commented on her messy car, said that although our car IS messy as well at least we don't have "Bird CRAP" all over the windows. This is Justin's fault- he fully admits it. He is the one that says "Bird Crap." Makes me laugh.

I don't know what is wrong with me, but my neck and shoulders are extremely sore. I probably have some incurable disease, so I will NOT look it up on the internet.

At the conference, someone donated a bunch of amethyst stones that could be put on a key chain, hung in a window or around your neck. I bought one because I wasn't bidding on bigger items, but wanted some mementos from such a life-changing weekend There was a little card with each stone that said this: "Amethyst: Known as the sobriety stone. Dispels anger and alleviates sadness. Treats insomnia and eases headaches." Pretty cool. So I Googled "Amethyst" and Wikipedia tells me that "the name comes from the Ancient Greek a- ("not") and methustos ("intoxicated"), a reference to the belief that the stone protected its owner from drunkenness; the ancient Greeks and Romans wore amethyst and made drinking vessels of it in the belief that it would prevent intoxication."

I also bid on and won a little purse that someone made. The woman who made it is nicknamed "Toots." I've seen her writings online and always thought she was a wonderful person...and when I finally met her in person all her wonderfulness was twofold. The first thing she said after introductions was that if anyone ever needed a hug, to come find her, because she's a big hugger.

I bought a note card made (painted) by my roommate at the hotel the last night we were there in Allentown. This woman is amazing. A wonderful artist- she held a watercolor workshop one night. I didn't attend, as space was limited and I chose the "How to Meditate" class instead, but will next year if she holds it again. She calls herself The Dumpy D*I*V*A*- I suppose because she is 4 foot 8 (?), but I didn't see anything Dumpy about her. We spent our last night ordering Red*Robin room service and swapping birth stories. She had me laughing until I couldn't breathe. She was laughing too, so I didn't feel bad about it... On the way to PA, I had a layover in Chicago and met her at the airport. I immediately recognized her from her pictures, but we had both affixed these yellow butterflies to our shirts. Hers was laminated and she also had one on her bag. Mine was not laminated and stuck on my shirt with tape. She was a great traveling companion- we each had issues-her the big things and me the little details...so our obsessions complimented each other. She was worried that she wasn't really "in the system" when she booked her flight online. She had never had an e-ticket before...so she was stressing about showing up at the airport and not being allowed on the plane.. Me, I was worried about transportation to and from the college...as if we'd be stranded. I miss being around her.

My roommate at the college was this tall and skinny woman from S.C., but with a huge Massachusetts accent. We spent 2 nights chatting into the wee hours about books, movies, our lives, our childhoods, etc... It was awesome. She brought souvenirs from her town for me- a gel candle with seashells and sand in the bottom and for the girls: taffy and mermaid and seahorse soaps with bright blue washcloths. The first night she was showing me what she was donating to the silent auction- knick knack souvenir stuff from her town and then I showed her what I brought- 40 Days and 40 Nights. She was oohing and ahhing over it...flipping the pages and came upon a note to someone on the "I would like to dedicate this book to" page. It said, "Dear David, May your 40th be & bring the Best of New Beginnings in your Wondrous life. Love & Friendship, Sandy M... 12/2/07" Dear David took the journal BACK to Barnes and Noble and then I bought it. My roommate suggested ripping that page out, so I let her do the honors. I brought the dedication page all the way back to Colorado...another memento.

New Photos

I uploaded new photos of the girls. Some are of Ava's dance recital (Mallory was tired and not feeling too good that day which is why she looks ragged in the pictures) and others of the other day outside. Enjoy!

Welcome to the World Braeden Paul

My sister and her husband became first time parents on Tuesday, June 10th at 10:07 p.m. est. Braeden weighed 6 pounds 2 ounces and was 19 1/4 inches long. He decided to arrive EARLY into life, but sure gave Suzanne (& Brent) a workout...false labor started Saturday and they went back and forth to the hospital a few times before deciding it was FOR REAL. Once she was checked into the hospital, it then took 11 hours for him to make his way out. I can't wait to meet him and hope I can swing a quick trip to Florida after our trip to MN and before school starts. I do have to be here on July 31st to get Ava officially signed up for kindergarten.

Back in the Land of Laundry and Sweetness

The sweetness is from Ava & Mallory. Oh boy did they miss me. A Lot. Apparently Mo did too...she walked around making this sickly meow sound the entire time I was gone. Goofball!

I had the most phenomenal time at the WFS annual conference. I am glad to be back, but I also feel like the it should have been longer. I am still in processing mode- remembering conversations and all of the wonderful women I met. I feel energized and it was definitely the best thing to give my self-esteem the boost it needed. The biggest thing I walked away with was that I am not just o.k., but AMAZING. I met so many amazing women of strength from all walks of life. Friday night we had the "opening ceremony." We passed around a microphone and had to introduce ourselves and tell as much or as little about ourselves as we wanted to. Each woman was vigorously applauded every time. I was nervous and scared on the journey there...and even once I actually walked in the room with all of these strangers...it was overwhelming actually, but everyone was so friendly and accepting and even though we all came from different places, we are all the same. It was a powerful weekend. I learned a lot about myself - cried and laughed...oh did I laugh until I had tears streaming down my eyes. Glad to be home. And also glad that Justin doesn't have to travel tomorrow for a week like we thought he was going to. Whew...

Bag is packed

I am leaving tomorrow morning for Pennsylvania and won't be back until mid-morning on Monday. I am nervous about traveling by myself as I haven't done so in almost 10 years. I am also a bit sad that I will miss Ava's big dance recital. I had already registered for the conference and booked my flight before I found out when it was.

Justin is taking time off of work to stay home with the girls...I am sure their days will be jam packed with fun- plus he has to get Ava ready for and take her to the rehearsal and recital on Thurs and Friday nights.

The Run Down

We have been busy- which is why I haven't written. I am taking a break from laundry to sit down for a minute.

Thursday was Ava's last day of school. Last night she still thought she would be going to school today. And then was overjoyed when we told her, again, that she won't go to school for a couple months. I think she likes school...I hope Kindergarten is fun for her...maybe she'll like it more when she goes everyday. *shrug*

Friday I spent the morning cleaning (and by Sunday no one would have been the wiser) and then we met friends at a park for a few hours in the afternoon. Poor Mallory is just not as fast as all the other kids on her bike...she got left behind and just sat and cried until I came over to see what was up.

Saturday morning we had Ava's dance pictures taken. We only did the group photo since we have the individual ones of Ava from her school...which I have not gotten in the mail to anyone yet. Doh! After that we went to a park near our house for a picnic with my WFS friends and their families/partners/dogs. I had a great time socializing outside of our normal meeting. Wonderful women. After that Justin went on a bike ride while I worked on my cross-stitch and the girls messed around outside. We were going to plant our seeds that we bought back in April, but there were juice spillage issues and poop problems and then I gave them popsicles and they forgot about it. I wasn't really in the mood anyway. The girls had way too many snacks so they didn't really eat much of our grilled hamburgers dinner. Oh well.

Sunday Justin made scrambled eggs and pancakes and the girls ate breakfast in the backyard. They were up before 7. And they've been going to bed later...I would have thought they'd sleep in a LITTLE. Justin went to Lowe's to get stuff to start working on our bathroom. While he did that I flew over to a couple stores. Half the trip wasn't too successful. I have had trouble sleeping all last week and into the weekend, so I was kind of feeling dizzy and out of sorts. Plus I just couldn't think and it didn't help that I didn't create and bring any sort of list. Duh. I need some sort of poncho rain gear. I guess I have a few days to get it all ready. I worked on my cross-stitch the rest of the afternoon while the girls rested and Justin got his hair cut. We did leftovers for dinner and Mallory wouldn't (couldn't) eat anything. I asked her if anything hurt...her tummy, her throat, her head, even her elbows and knees hurt. Hmmm... Took her temp and it was 102. Yikes. Tylenol and off to bed. We all slept soundly until around 5 a.m. when Miss Mallory woke up and had diarrhea. Lovely. Justin showered and left for the airport. At 8 a.m. Mallory told me she needed to throw up. Lovely. I positioned her on the couch with a bucket, water and My Little Pony. She threw up once and maybe twice- I am not sure as I had left the room for a second. She wanted to lie down, so I got her set up on the loveseat... Then she said she felt better and was hungry. Gave her a banana and she ate 3/4 of it. She was still hungry. Gave her some Wild Animal Crunch cereal...she ate 3 tiny bowls and 3/4 of a Pedialyte popsicle. So far has not puked again. Ava helped me clean a bit and fold laundry this morning.

Please cross your fingers that Mallory is truly better and that no one else gets it, especially since Justin is in Kansas until tomorrow night, Ava has her dance rehearsal and recital this Thurs and Fri. and that I will be in Pennsylvania Thurs-Monday....

I guess that is it from our household.

The Sun Came Out Today

Ava had her very first Field Day at school today. Tomorrow is her LAST day of preschool. Wow. It was hilarious watching 50 two to five year olds follow directions with the parachute. The first time they all ran to the middle and sat down. The second time the teacher told them to run to the other side. The third time she said to not run or go to the middle, but just sit down right on the inside. Did it happen? Heck NO. LOL Mallory got to participate, get an award and a popsicle with the rest of the class. Good times.

After lunch I took the girls back to the school to play on the big kids' playground. They had it all to themselves for about half an hour- then the after school care kids came out. Ava followed one 8 year old girl around and said "WOW" to everything she did- hanging upside down, climbing up things....and then she tried it all too. I sat on a bench and watched them have fun. I should have brought my book.

Justin is up in Golden mountain biking.

It feels weird to know I will be leaving for Pennsylvania a week from tomorrow.

Ava has dance pictures Saturday morning and then we have a picnic to attend later in the morning. Life is busy.

Hate

Yesterday there was an incident with chocolate milk spillage on clothes that was predicted and then surprise by Ava that we were frustrated after the warning didn't heed the prevention. *sigh* Justin was the one who was more visibly upset about the whole thing. I was just sitting there on the couch shaking my head, but I was the one who was told by Mallory that Ava told her to tell me that she "hated me."

I decided to purchase this cross-stitch kit the other day when I was at the craft store. I think the last time I cross-stitched was 25 years ago... I completely messed up the border because I didn't understand what "ply" meant in regards to the thread. The directions weren't exactly for amateurs, but I took apart what I goofed up and started over.

It was gloomy and rainy out yesterday so we all just stayed inside doing our own things. It's the same weather today, so I plan on doing a bit of cleaning and then relaxing. I already have our chicken and vegetables in the crockpot for chicken noodle soup.

Lots of Things

A lot has happened that I want to write about since my last post.

I feel SO much better. I am so glad that antibiotics were discovered and developed. Still have a dry cough and a bit of pressure...but I finally feel like going out into the world and doing stuff again!

Justin worked late every day this week. So he was home, but he wasn't ever really home except for a tiny bit of time every day. We are all glad to have 3 days off to do whatever we want to do. No schedule and no pressure. Whew.

On Thursday, the girls and I left the house at 11:30 a.m. We headed north on Wadsworth for Longmont- and then east to Firestone to spend the afternoon with Jill & Co. I drove through 4 hailstorms and a torrential downpour. It took over an hour to get there. When we arrived and got out of the car we could hear a siren. That was the tornado siren. The tornado had passed by Firestone about an hour before that. Jill and I sat and watched the news the whole time we were there while the kids played obliviously to what was going on in Colorado. Such devastation that day...and miraculously only one person perished. Jill set the girls up with some chocolate Ovaltine in their milk before we started for home. We ran out of chocolate syrup a couple weeks ago and I promised them that I would buy more on Friday...but then I remembered we had that syrup from Italy. When Justin got home I raced to the store to get a few more items for our dinner. While I was gone, Justin made chocolate milk for them...with the Italian syrup...why not? They gulped it down- I mean it was gone within seconds. Justin decided to have another taste and took a swig. He had more than the other day when he was testing it out and this time he felt a kind of burning sensation on his tongue....sooooo we think there is probably alcohol in it and he accidentally gave them some. I popped the lid today and took a whiff and it smelled like a melted chocolate rum ball to me. I won't be having any of that...and neither will the girls...anymore that is.

Yesterday when I picked Ava up from school she wanted me to help her try and swing across the monkey bars. A lot of the kids her age can do it and have been able to do it most of the year, but poor Ava is one of the smaller 5 year olds (gee, that sounds familiar!) and has been scared to and simply hasn't gotten the hang of it yet. I help her do it almost every time I pick her up. Anyway, back to yesterday- I helped her do it and 2 of her classmates were showing her how to get all the way across. Finally, after cheerleading from the 3 of us she did a couple on her own, but then she'd freak out when she got to the middle and just hang there...then her hands would start to hurt and she'd drop down to the ground. She wanted to keep trying and since there weren't the normal 7 people in line for it, I helped her- with the other 2 girls taking turns. She was excited that she actually did a couple on her own. This morning she could hardly wait until Justin was ready to take them to the playground. If she had her way she would have gone in her pjs the minute she woke up. When I got home from my meeting and lunch date she was ecstatic to tell me that she went all the way across by herself...multiple times. I told her that she'll have to show her friends on Wednesday and that they will be so amazed. Woo Hoo for Ava!!

The other day I caught Mallory red-handed coloring in one of Justin's novels with a crayon. I chose her timeout to either be on a yellow chair or on the mat in the kitchen. She would not stay in timeout for even a nanosecond. I struggled with her for HALF AN HOUR. I was sweaty and coughing and gagging and almost puking and exhausted by the end. She was pushing and hitting me and I was afraid she'd bite my leg. I gave up. The girl is recalcitrant. I wonder how she'll do next year in preschool. Oy! So, after I threw in the towel, I took a closer look at Justin's books and saw a very well drawn orange person. The only color crayon on the table was a brown one- the one I saw Mallory holding. I asked Ava if she drew the picture. She said no. I asked again and said I knew it wasn't Mallory- that it looked like something SHE drew. She said she didn't want me to get mad at her. I asked her again and she said she didn't want me to be mad. I finally said, "I am not going to be mad- please do not lie to me. You need to tell Daddy you are sorry when he gets home." I don't have the answers...and don't even want suggestions...I just need to get it all out.

Well there was more...but I am going to end for today.

Hope everyone is having a nice and relaxing Memorial Day Weekend.

Things are looking up

I called our pcp office today and they are booked solid all week. I can't believe I said I'd wait until Thursday...am I a masochist or what? The girls and I went to the clinic and I now have a round of antibiotics that I reaaaaallly hope does the trick. Then no one will have to listen to my bitching and moaning anymore. Hooray!

The semi-thick brown liquid from Italy is in fact chocolate syrup. Woo Hoo!!

Back to Normal

Justin is back from Italy. My sense of smell and taste is slowly coming back. The cat will now sit on my lap when I watch t.v. (she avoided me while Justin was gone...weird).

I did have an awful panic attack on the way to the airport yesterday. I had to pull over on the interstate. I've never had to pull over before. I am sure it was triggered by the nasal decongestant I was taking. Stupid nasal decon. All week either my nose was a sore fountain, but I could maybe taste a bit of whatever I was eating OR I took a nasal decongestant and didn't have to have a tissue handy all the time, but then I couldn't taste anything. And don't even get me started about the pain. I STILL have facial pain, but since I can taste I don't feel like running to the doctor. It feels better and I have faith it will go away. Ok...so if by Thursday I still feel the same I will call and make an appointment.

Justin brought some chocolates home for the girls and the hotel gave him this bottle of brown semi-thick liquid. We have no idea what it is...the label doesn't offer any information...so I guess we have to open it and taste.

5 more days of school left for Ava...and I think 3 more dance lessons until her recital. I hope everything goes ok with that since I won't be here...

They should be exhausted

Busy day today. The kids were up at 7:30 sharp...sneaking in our bedroom to check on me. I made scrambled eggs, sausage patties and cinnamon rolls for breakfast- this I could taste.
My dad came over and I left for my meeting. The person who was supposed to bring the topic and lead the discussion called me and left a message saying she wasn't going to make it. Apparently she also called our moderator, but didn't leave a message...kind of odd. We made do - as women never seem to run out of things to jabber about. LOL
I came home and my mom and dad were making the girls' lunch. I ran to the store to get some cash while my mom looked through Ava's preschool stuff- basically a folder of things she worked on over the year to track her progress that I got at her conference. After lunch they watched the Sleeping Beauty dvd my dad re-burned for them. I ate some leftover Chinese which I could barely taste and then talked to Justin as he roamed the streets of Milan. LOL He was trying to find some sort of souvenir for me and he and his co-worker went into this store that was like Pier One...neat stuff, but they started picking stuff up and discovered it was all "Made in China" and "Made in USA." Oh well... He has some Belgian chocolates from the plane ride to give to the girls.
When Sleeping Beauty was over we walked over to Ava's school for their Spring Fling. They decorated crowns, jumped in the bouncy castle and had their faces painted. Ate a cookie and got a free book each. I talked to a few women that I see when I take Ava to school...and now I am thinking I might join PTA next year.
I splurged and got Mc D's for dinner and the girls wanted to watch Sleeping Beauty again. They should be ready for bed after their bath.
Here's hoping my face pain doesn't keep me awake again tonight.

Oh My Sinsuses

At 2 a.m. this morning both girls woke up spontaneously and wanted to sleep with me. I groggily noticed that I had left our bedroom window open as it felt stuffy when I went to bed 3 hours earlier. This morning my sinsuses are painfully clogged. For the past few days I was feeling good physically and fully expected to rise and shine this morning with a clear nose and faint cough. Not so.

We were going to visit with Jill this week or weekend, but her grandfather died and they have funeral and family stuff...

I wish I felt like organizing the girls to clean their room really well...I keep saying we are going to do it, but then I never feel like it when it comes right down to it. I've kind of let them have the run of the house this week...just not feeling myself.

I dyed my hair yesterday and it dyed Darker than what it was supposed to do...it's the same one I always use. *sigh* I am not sure what to think about it.

That's about all in our world...better go check to see what the girls are up to...

Ava won't poop again.

I need to re-dye my hair...soon.

Justin is in Milan, Italy eating dinner right this moment.

My mom is in Lincoln trying to get my Grandpa into a nursing home.

My sister is in Florida with 2 months or less of her pregnancy left.

Mallory found an old spray bottle, filled it with water and washed all of the windows.

I got a letter in the mail about Ava's Kindergarten. I had stopped by the main office yesterday to ask about what I needed to do...and registration is July 31st. School starts August 12th. Ava can't have these poop issues if she's going to school all day next year.

I am going to talk to the preschool about what the hours for the afternoon session are since Ava's school starts 40 minutes AFTER the preschool... That's a lot of back and forth in the morning in a short time period. According to the teacher at Ava's conference yesterday neither session is filled up yet... Ava's conference went well. I warned her about Mallory...lol

I was all set to watch Season 6 of Curb Your Enthusiasm last night and the WRONG dvd was in the sleeve. It was the 2nd half of the season...I ended up watching it anyway, so now they need to send me the first 6 episodes... *sigh* I am starting "Queer as Folk" tonight...I already checked and it's the correct dvd. Whew. I was going to do "Ally McBeal," but they only have one dvd out...not the entire season. I see that "Thirtysomething" is finally being released now...can't wait!!

Weekend

The girls and I had quite an adventure on Saturday. After eating lunch we headed on over to Tarjay. I did not have a list...and not having a list is bad. Having a list is bad too, so you can see how NOT having one at all is...worse. I bought a few new things for the house- a new duvet cover- white-ish, a new kitchen rug (I swear I go through them so fast). I also got food and presents and a few things for myself (for Mother's Day we'll say). And for anyone who waits until the day before a holiday to find a card for that holiday...well you'll know that it's a mob and finding a card that is suitable from the picked over selection is nothing short of a miracle. I had 2 cards to buy on Saturday and I thought they were pretty good cards- I put thought into their selection. Anyway...after our hour and a half shopping spree we checked out and headed home. My nose was a fountain and I was looking forward to the nasal decongestant I had just bought. So which bag did I not end up at home with? The one with the CARDS and the DECONGESTANT and the few things I bought for myself for being such an awesome mom. I have never not been handed an ENTIRE bag at checkout...sure the checker or bagger has failed to BAG a certain small overlooked item...but to not be given a bag....UGH. I had no choice but to get the girls' shoes back on and strap them back in their car seats for my mad dash back to the store. None of us felt good...I had that sickly sweaty feeling that you get between the times you have the chills. This was the LAST thing I wanted to do...but it was at least 15 dollars worth of stuff I had bought and wasn't able to call my own.
Once there we went to the same lane we checked out of and of course there was a different checker. No problem though. She sorted through the multitude of bags that were set aside...the ones paying customers didn't pick up...or is it that the checker's aren't giving us our stuff?????? It seemed mighty suspicious to me that there were THAT many bags an hour after I left and mine wasn't there. We then ventured over to Guest Services. I like how they now call us Guests instead of Customers. LOL The lady that helped was nice and she had a manager come over and he instructed me to go and pick up what I didn't go home with and meet him back at the counter. They told me that the stuff had probably already been re-shelved. WOW. Not even an hour later and they were already putting the stuff back to make more money. I could tell that the stuff had been put back too...funny. We went to get the cards first and I found the one for my dad, but the one for my mom...it was no where in the area where I originally picked it from. Frustrated, and sweaty, I ended up grabbing another one that was a little higher in price...the manager would just have to figure it out... We got the rest of the stuff and walked back past the card area and I decided to have one more look for the card. I found it...and lost Mallory at the same time. She had wandered off with another family. She was walking along holding onto their cart. When I finally spotted her the mom and dad were looking around for me- aka the person responsible for her. Sheesh kid!
Sunday was a better day. We hung out at a park with my parents and had a lunch, played and talked. I took some pictures- check them out. The girls were still tired from the day this morning and didn't want to get out of bed. Neither did I, but Ava had school. I think we are just going to take it easy today...go outside for a bit after lunch. This cold just won't leave!

Off to Europe...

Justin that is... I *really* hope he doesn't end up getting the virus the girls and I have...it has just wiped me out all week.

We don't have much planned this coming week...except maybe a trip up to Firestone to see the Fischaber's finished basement and new trampoline!

I cannot believe school is almost out. The summer is going to fly by too fast.

Googly Eyes

Earlier this week I bought some craft supplies at the Dollar Spot at Tarjay. One of the items was Googly Eyes. It reminded Justin and I of this skit that was on SNL recently...and now we can't stop mimicking it. The girls think we are funny though...

Ow

Every time I move wherever my clothes rub against my skin it is painful. Ava is home from school today with a yucky, gunky cough and fever, again. We've only had this since Monday, but it seems like longer. You know I am sick when I try to drink coffee and it just doesn't taste good. :( Is it time for bed yet?

Sickly

The 3 females of the house are sick. Colds. Major snot and productive coughs. Annoying. Ava had a bit of a fever this morning so I kept her home from dance...plus with all of the activity it makes her cough... We will survive...it's just a bummer.

Yesterday the girls had their first dental appointments. It was a successful and non-traumatic experience. No cavities and when I told Ava she'd come back in 6 months...why her eyes grew huge. What a treat the dentist is...LOL

I have Ava's Spring school pictures to send out to people...

There isn't much else going on...end of school stuff... Justin goes to Belgium and Italy next week. I am gone the first weekend in June, then he's gone the weekend after that. Busy...

Great Day

Yesterday I had the greatest day. Attended my WFS meeting and had a great conversation about the differences in programs/treatment for alcoholics and how ridiculous it is to say a person cannot be in an intensive outpatient treatment program if they are drinking. Basically you have to stop drinking in order to get help....the very thing you are in treatment for- to stop drinking. Anorexics aren't told they have to be eating normally in order to be in treatment to eat normally... The reason I love the program I am involved in, WFS, is because it focuses on Self-Help. You change your life with the help of other women. It has none of the moral and "you are weak" stuff the "other" program has...at least from my understanding of it. I am not saying it's all bad as I know it's helped people, but I just know it's not for me. Anyways, after the meeting, I joined 4 other women from the group for lunch at a yummy Italian restaurant. They had the BEST pizza. We will definitely have to get take-out from there some Friday. When we sat down the waiter said there was a wine special- 15 bottles of wine for 15 dollars. We all started laughing super hard and said no thanks. Of course once our laughter dispersed we realized that the wine was not a dollar a bottle...that would be insane, but every alcohol abusers DREAM.

G-K-A

Girls Kick Ass is written on one of my t-shirts...this is a shirt I've had for over 10 years. Hardly wear it anymore...in fact forgot I had it until I was cleaning out my closet. I wore it today while cleaning. Ava asked me what it said. The conversation went like this:

I said, "Uh...Girls Kick Butt."

"BUTT?? What?"

"Girls kick butt....Girls are COOL."

"Girls are cool?"

"Yah...Girls are awesome!"

"Girls are awesome?"

"Yep"

"Are girls awesomer than boys?"

"Yes they ARE!"

"So I'M awesome because I am a girl!"

Later on she came up to me and pointed to my shirt and said, "Girls are COOL."

Sweet

This morning, Mallory jumped on our bed to say good morning and torture the cat...not exactly in that order. After Mo was banished from the bed Mallory hugged me and said, "Mommy- you are so sweet."

After my meeting tomorrow a few of us are going to lunch. I am always asked, but always feel like I need to get back to the troops. I've been told recently that I am inspiring, a role model and motivate people. Hmm...I guess...it still feels foreign to me that my peers would look up to me. That little voice in my pipes up- *They wouldn't think that if they REALLY knew me.* But, truth be told, I am changing. I am not the horrible person I thought I was. I have mellowed, which I think is a benefit not only for myself but for those around me. Who wants to be around someone who while striving for perfection literally paralyzes herself? How much time was wasted agonizing over the PERFECT meal for dinner...not being able to make a decision? How much energy spent worrying about what was right or wrong? Compassion for everyone- putting myself in their shoes- has really made a difference in my life. I have learned to not take things AS personally... Nine times out of ten when someone has an issue or is in a bad mood it is not about ME, but THEM. This is so freeing. I am still working on not caring (as much) about what people think of me. This has been a lifelong battle...so isn't easy. At the conference I am attending the first weekend in June I want to bring an item for the silent auction. I better figure it out...I just can't think. I could try making something...but what??

I made the most amazing Cooking Light dinner muffins last night. They'd be delish for a brunch as well.

Cheddar-Green Onion Muffins

1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour (about 7 3/4 ounces)
1/4 cup yellow cornmeal
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/2 cup (2 ounces) reduced-fat shredded extrasharp cheddar cheese, divided
3 tablespoons chilled butter, cut into pieces
1 1/4 cups fat-free buttermilk
2 tablespoons chopped green onions
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1 large egg, lightly beaten
Cooking spray

Preparation

Preheat oven to 375°.

Lightly spoon flour into dry measuring cups; level with a knife. Combine flour and the next 5 ingredients (through pepper) in a food processor; pulse 3 times to combine. Add 5 tablespoons cheese and butter; pulse 5 times or until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Spoon mixture into a medium bowl. Combine buttermilk, onions, garlic, and egg; stir with a whisk. Add to flour mixture, stirring just until moist. Spoon batter into 12 muffin cups coated with cooking spray. Sprinkle evenly with remaining 3 tablespoons cheese. Bake at 375° for 18 minutes or until a wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool for 5 minutes in pan on a wire rack; remove from pan. Cool completely on a wire rack.

12 muffins