So it's like this

I've actually been rather busy, but, also, our modem crapped out. We had to have our provider come and replace our outdated one with a brand spanking new one. Then our router was being a bitch, but Justin tricked it and our 48 some odd hours of no internet was over. Justin worked from home Monday and Tuesday and about 1 p.m, Tues we lost connection...so he went for a bike ride.

Then I was just busy transporting kids to and from school, lunch dates, dinner dates and mall cruising for Halloween outfits, among other things- Did you know that Spencer's IN THE MALL sells vibrators? MmmK. I don't recall there being an adult section in there when I was a teenager. My how times have changed OR I WAS really naive...

Mallory skinned her knees multiple times this week. Ouchy black gravel in the wound type skinning. Ava's best friend Sydney's brother, Austin, is in Mallory's preschool and he tells his mom that Mallory is HIS best friend. Austin and Mallory were holding hands as we walked to our cars one day after school. SOOO adorable!

While the internet was down I cleaned our basement...as best I could.

I really enjoyed Barack's speech Thursday night. One friend said the next day, "Well he promised the WORLD last night..." and I screamed, silently in my head only, "BUT 8 IS ENOUGH!!!" Unless McCain "promises" the same things there really is no sane reason to vote for him... IN MY OPINION... I AM tired of the good ol' boy frat party we've had in office for the past 8 years. I am tired of large corporations and the rich mattering MORE than a hard working middle class American. *shrug* I am tired of being lied to. Ready for change.

Busy Week Last Week

even though Ava only went 2 days. One sick day and 2 non-contact days. They were testing kids to see where they were academically. Ava is right where she needs to be. The teacher told me that she can tell a big difference between the kids who were in preschool using Tools of the Mind, those in preschool not using Tools and those that never went to preschool.

Today is the beginning of the first FULL week of school for Ava. Exciting- for her AND me. Justin is working from home today and tomorrow due to the DNC. He'll either ride his bike in Wed. or work at the CSC.

I have been really tired lately. Not sure why. I've been more physically active, but I thought that was supposed to give you more energy, not sap you of all you've got. *shrug*

Nothing Major to Talk About

Ava says school makes her tired- especially when she is there ALL day.

Mallory's teacher says she won't say but 2 words. She already has a "best friend"- a girl named Sarah.

Ava constantly talks about her friend Sydney- Sydney this and Sydney that and Mallory talks about Sarah this and Sarah that. Too cute!

We are having some difficulty getting the girls to bed. It took Ava almost 2 hours to give in to sleep last night.

Ava's bed wetting has pretty much stopped since she FINALLY started going #2 almost every day. This has been a year long saga...and I am just so glad she decided to quit holding it. Makes many lives so much happier.

It is so cute when I pick up Mallory. All of the kids are sitting in the middle of the room on a rug with their backpacks and they can't get up until someone is there to pick them up. It's the same preschool as Ava went to, but they seem much more organized this year. Last year they mixed the all day kids with the preschool kids and preschool was only in the morning. This year they have one room which is ONLY all day kids and then the other room for morning and afternoon school sessions.

Justin is biking to work this week and next because he gave up his parking space for the DNC. Due to the rain and his cold he hasn't been able to bike for a week and is worried he's getting out of shape.

House of Pain

Ava is home sick, but of course feels better NOW...oh well. Mallory doesn't have school on Mondays. Justin stayed home because he has what they have. I have had nausea and stuff for 2 days, so I'm not in the best of shape either...

Last night Ava was practically beside herself that she probably wouldn't be going to school today, yet at the same time she was in pain and had a temp of 101.5. She was cold and miserable, so we put her to bed. She woke every half hour to hour wailing in pain. Ok, maybe not wailing, but crying out. When I'd go in their room she'd have her eyes closed so I'd quietly sneak out and let her sleep.

Think I'll make a Spaghetti Pie tonight for dinner. I have most of the ingredients, which is rare.

2 Sick Kids

We all survived the first week of school, but the girls have colds. Ava slept on the couch last night because her throat hurt- she seemed to think it would feel better if she wasn't in her bed. Kid logic continues to baffle me. Mallory has been sick since Friday and she's only complained twice. Ava, however, reminds me every half hour that something hurts or she is somehow uncomfortable with her existence. *sigh* It's only 9 a.m. Think a trip to Michael's to get crafts might be a good idea in a little while- if anything, for my sanity!

Justin is off-roading today.

The Carnation Festival and parade were canceled yesterday due to rain, lightening and thunder. Ava was very disappointed as she had been looking forward to the parade for many months. Likewise, our yard had been looking forward to the rain for many months.

Poor Mallory

This morning she was upset that she doesn't get to go to school at the same time as Ava, but she gets Mommy time. LOL We needed new kid shampoo so we went to the store. She found a soft, stuffed pony that she would not put down. I had to promise to buy stickers instead. Finally she put the pony back (I told her she could ask for it for her birthday) and we were back on track. She also got a sucker at the bank. Someday, hopefully she'll remember this time and feel gratitude...unlike Ava who was too young to now remember being an only child. Wishful thinking I guess..

When I picked up Mallory yesterday her face was bright red. They had just finished playing outside and she was hot and thirsty. It was painful for her to wait for Ava to get checked out of Kindergarten. Today I will bring something for her to drink...

I spent most of my time alone yesterday cleaning the house. I figure it won't get as messy with them not here most of the time so I won't clean every day. Funny: I spoke to a few other moms who were waiting for their kids and we ALL said we cleaned. LOL It's like we didn't know what to do with ourselves... I can already tell a drastic difference in my mood- not that I don't love my kids to death, but I guess I didn't realize how very hard it is to be a stay-at-home-mom. It IS and I survived...partially intact. Anyway, I could tell my mood was better because the thought of making dinner wasn't something I was loathing, per usual. Good stuff!

First day of School

Kindergarten for Ava

Preschool for Mallory

Ava has been gone for 3 hours already... There are a few kids from her preschool that are in her class, including Sydney who she was also in dance with and liked a lot. Also, a little boy named Bryson from around the corner. I hung out with his mom for awhile back when he was little, but his mom & dad split up and she moved down south...he went to preschool by her residence and is now here for Kindy. Cool. I always liked all of them.

Mallory and I will head out the door after we finish lunch.

I have already been twice as productive this morning as I have been in a looong time. Yea me. LOL

Will post pictures I took this morning in Flickr when I get back from taking Mallory...

A Riot

Last week when the girls were taking a bath they kept getting in and out, in and out...retrieving more toys to play with in the tub. After a few minutes of the back and forth, Justin went in the bathroom to see what was going on. Mallory had put 5 or 6 STUFFED animals in the bath. Out they went, with much protest, and into the dryer. Sheesh!

Ava asked my mom why her house was always so clean, to which she responded that she likes a clean and tidy house. Then Ava then said- "I think that's just a waste of time."

Then a few nights ago Ava would NOT go to sleep. She was hot and wanted to change pajamas and was having a meltdown. Justin told her she was hot because she was "crying her head off." And the panic began. She thought she could literally cry her head off and was lying on the floor petrified that her head would in fact disengage from her body.

Last night Justin was watching an episode of Two and a Half Men. One of the characters blurted out, "I'm getting laid tonight" JUST as the girls ran in the room. Ava then quipped, "I'm getting LATE tonight"...but it still sounded like Laid. *sigh*

Food

The weekend is almost over.
Friday night we procrastinated about dinner until I gave in and made chicken tacos. I had to give myself a pep talk in order to get the proper motivation to cut up vegetables.
I used to enjoy cooking- well I enjoyed finding and trying out new recipes, but nowadays it's somewhat painful. I'd rather not eat if I have to go into the kitchen, defrost meat or cut vegetables and concoct something edible and nutritious. I used to live on bean burritos or nachos and mashed potatoes: plain (with butter and s&p of course) or with cheese- Parmesan, Cheddar, Cream...or whatever was in the fridge at the time. The burritos were usually refried beans from a can, but occasionally I would make homemade pinto beans and mash and fry them in bacon grease. Divine. Those burritos were usually smothered with green chile, but it wasn't a requirement. Back in college I hadn't discovered nachos yet - I mean I had eaten them, but I had never made my own. I survived on spaghetti- noodles and jarred sauce, no meat- oh but don't forget the mound of parmesan cheese that truly made the meal what it was- Yum-O. So, spaghetti and the bean burritos. Every once in awhile I had Chocolate Malt-o-Meal and peanut butter toast for dinner. I made the mistake of eating the burritos right before my Self Defense class and farted up a storm while learning how to defend would be rapists on campus, so I switched to the cereal and toast. One summer, the summer I stayed in Greeley and took a class or two, I worked at Hardee's and was fond of their Ham & Cheese melt sandwich. Other than that I had dinner at Chili's once every other week or so and had a big salad, but the most made and eaten thing that summer was mashed potato burritos. The one ingredient that made it worthwhile was the cajun seasoning I stirred into the potatoes. I haven't made one for a long time - and frankly really don't have the desire to go there again, but I can recall exactly what they tasted like. I never got into the Ramen noodle meal thing and I know that what I ate was better than a lot of people I know. One guy I knew made Kraft mac & cheese with water instead of milk- he also applied for and used food stamps.
After college, I lived with my parents briefly and I was spoiled with the delicious meals my mom presented on the dinner table most every night. I also consumed heaping bowls of mashed potatoes and frozen soft pretzels covered in melted American cheese slices.
Once I was on my own, living in an apartment on 14th and Federal (thereabout) I ate massive amounts of cold cereal. I could eat bowl after bowl after bowl. It was grotesque. Another favorite was Totino's pizzas...you know those tiny personal sized ones that have mega amounts of fat in them and the serving size was 2 but you ate the whole thing because it was just the right size for dinner... During that time the person I was dating and I ate at Red Robin and various Mexican restaurants weekly. I must have had a vegetable at some point.
Moving in with Jill finally got me cooking, shall we say, normally. We cooked some dinners together and her meals were more well-balanced. I still made the nachos. Thursday nights we would watch Friends and then ER and eat popcorn. Friday nights she'd go to Happy Hour with co-workers while I was still at work, so by the time I got home she was ready to go to bed. I oft times would rent movies and consume wine and McDonald's by myself. Or if she hadn't gone out we would gorge ourselves on Red Lobster.
When Justin and I first lived together I insisted on getting Chinese take-away once a week- no less than twice a month for soure. Dominos was ordered a lot. Oh and let's not forget the ultimate fast food-- Chipotle. Even now, I have reduced my intake of that delectable monstrous meal. I did cook- actually used recipes from cookbooks. We grilled, and still do. I got better at the whole meal thing. I made homemade lasagna with sauce from scratch. Baked Potato Soup. I used the crockpot, but just this past year I have really realized how much I don't enjoy cooking Every Day. It has to be fast and easy- (I remember, before kids, I'd make scalloped or au gratin potatoes and would stand forever in the kitchen slicing paper thin (right!) slices)- yet in the recent past I wouldn't settle easily for soup and sandwiches. Soup and sandwiches never sounded good to me. Now, if I REALLY don't feel like cooking I will eat a sandwich or soup... Progress. But much of what I craved was that which is gourmet- new and more often than not complicated recipes-or at least a recipe calling for a 10 different specific things that I did not have in the kitchen and were expensive- ie: nothing you'd find on the table of a midwest farming community. Things like Pine Nuts, Saffron, fresh Basil, Sea Salt and some Asian fish sauce. I think out of all the things listed I only ever used Pine Nuts and the Basil.
When Justin travels I skip dinner and have popcorn. Bad...but oh so good. A few years ago I was addicted to these Ling Ling vegetable spring rolls. I'd alternate between those, popcorn and nachos. Maybe with Ava in school all day and Mallory gone 3 afternoons a week I will get more into a groove of cooking...and get unstuck from the things I am hung up on.
I also failed to get the gardening and cleaning gene.

Happy August

I am glad that August is here- July is over. What a chaotic summer we've had so far. Even on my vacations I haven't felt relaxed. Can I have a vacation from the summer? I do get an afternoon to myself tomorrow, which is better than nothing. My parents are taking the girls to Georgetown and Justin is going to Winter Park to mountain bike for a bachelor party. I have my WFS meeting, lunch with a some of the women afterwards and then who knows what... Because of this upcoming freedom, I have been trying to pick up around the house today. I feel like the girls are at my heels dropping breadcrumbs- well more like My Little Ponies, Princesses and clothes...oh and hair ties, head bands and barrettes... oh my! *sigh* If I get the top of the refrigerator cleaned off and reorganized before Justin gets home I will pat myself on the back. I wanted to get to the pantry, but that doesn't look like it's happening. The girls are supposed to be folding and putting away all the clothes they got out of their dresser earlier today when they were playing "store," but I can hear them laughing and playing Yesterday they were at each other's throats. Hitting and kicking and yelling and just not getting along and then somehow I was involved- I guess because I am the Mom- and I was told to go back on vacation. I was wished out of their lives (Ava's) and honestly by 9 p.m. last night I just couldn't deal with it anymore. I was beyond the point of having a rational mind. Justin got mad at me for having such a cow.

One issue I am dealing with is Ava's pink eye. She needs 2 drops in each eye every 4 hours and you'd think we were performing surgery on her without an anesthetic. I thought her poop issues were horrific. Nah..that's a piece of cake. At least with going to the bathroom...it is something between her body and mind. I am just there for cheerleading and doula type purposes. The eye drops are something a trusted individual (me) is doing TO HER. But there is no choice here, it something that has to be done, or it won't go away. She says she's scared of the drops. I get that. But still after doing it 7 times already she still has issues. It doesn't hurt or anything...she has told me this. Finally, I got advice from some friends to have her close her eyes and put the drops in the corner and let it seep in. That works, but her immediate reaction is to SIT UP...therefore I don't know how much medicine is actually going in her eye. ****SIGH****

In better news, I signed Ava up, officially, for Kindergarten yesterday. And I signed up for PTA- they were giving out lollipops so the girls were happy!

One promise I've made to myself when school starts is to REALLY start writing. More here and in general. I always tell myself I am going to, but once I get on the computer I start responding to e-mails or get on a board or just plain net surfing... I never do get around to opening Word and getting words on paper (or the screen.) I am too perfectionistic that it paralyzes me from doing anything out of fear of failure. Why try when I am sure I'll fail? I am not really good at ONE thing. So why bother? I have always thought that there was something wrong with my brain. I was always so distracted or nervous or ? to be able to concentrate in a class. And even those classes I DID like and concentrate in- I still would wander in my thoughts. I'd look around at people and wonder about who they were outside of school. I never would, and I mean NEVER (unless of course part of our grade was based on class participation) would speak up in class. I am the type of person that (well used to as it's getting better) would be so fricking nervous speaking in front of a class or even a roomful of strangers- heck even a FEW strangers- that I'd end up holding my breath and thus couldn't speak very well. I am still like this to some degree, but I will say that going to my WFS meeting every week - meeting these women as strangers- and discussing what we discuss has really helped me. The point of the meetings isn't, of course, to improve my social skills...it's just become an extra added bonus. I always thought I needed to fill myself with wine, or whatever, in order to socialize. And it might have been very well true. For some reason, I just never learned how to do it without wine...sad, but true. That isn't to say that I was drunk all the time...no, no, no...I just learned how to get out of the scary situations by either being co-dependent with someone or isolating myself. I was very good at both. But one cannot survive that way- well one can, but not very happily- plus there is no monetary compensation for it. Just bucketloads of grief. Ok so I went off a big ol' tangent or 2 there... So I am going to try and spend more time writing- I will have the time so I should use it. Not that it will lead to bigger and better things, but it's something I enjoy. Ok. Enough said by me today.